Readers of my blog often ask me how to develop self-confidence. This is a question I’m going to answer in this article.
Self-confidence is defined by our subjective perception of ourselves, our abilities and skills, by our emotional state, by our beliefs and internal mindset. It’s also based on our actual skills and abilities.
When reality repeatedly demonstrates that you’re good at something and have mastered a skill, it takes away the fuel for doubt in your abilities. Likewise, if you’ve never had any problems interacting with others, have always been able to communicate your thoughts articulately, to be interesting company and have always seen what a good impression you make, then it’s unlikely that you lack confidence in this area.
But it’s not always that simple. Often we don’t have an adequate evaluation of our skills and, irrespective of whether we’re good at something or not, we doubt ourselves.
I’m going to give you 25 tips about how to increase your self-confidence. Self-confidence has various aspects. Firstly, it’s confidence in your strengths, in your capabilities and endeavours. Secondly, it’s confidence in your communication skills which are expressed through the ability to engage in dialogue without being shy. Thirdly, it’s the perception of your real qualities. Developing these qualities will lead you to become more confident in them.
I’ll touch on all of these components in my tips.
Tip 1 – Don’t try to get rid of doubts; live alongside them!
When I started to write articles for this site, I was tormented by a whole raft of doubts: What if I found it impossible to write? What if my advice was no use to anyone? What if no one read my blog? What if my ideas seemed silly? And so on.
At the same time I was reading Hermann Hesse’s The Glass Bead Game. One phrase in this book helped to awaken my self-belief: ‘… His doubts had by no means been silenced. He already knew from experience that faith and doubt belong together; they govern each other like inhaling and exhaling …’
Some of my readers may expect this to be followed by a declaration: ‘And after reading this, all my doubts miraculously disappeared!’
But no, my doubts didn’t go anywhere. The quote from the book simply helped me to finally become convinced of something I had only suspected: doubt and uncertainty are understandable and natural. They accompany any undertaking, and there’s not always a way to escape them. There was nothing wrong in the fact that I had doubts. Furthermore, it was normal because I was beginning something new, something unfamiliar to me. Therefore my first task was to not allow the doubts in; I had to just do my thing without listening to the voice of uncertainty when it started to bother me.
The fact is that in many cases doubts are only emotions which have nothing in common with reality. Thinking that something won’t work out for you doesn’t mean that it actually won’t if you give it your best shot.
If you think that you won’t be understood or that you’ll be laughed at, it doesn’t mean that this is what’ll happen in reality.
Doubt and certainty constantly alternate and are transitory: think of a time when you were having doubts about something which by the next day you were as confident about as ever. If you can’t think of an example of this, then simply observe yourself for a few days, paying attention to how certainty and uncertainty are always trading places. It’s common for people to feel more sure of themselves in the morning when they’re full of energy and less so in the evening when all this energy has left them.
Self-confidence can depend on your tonicity, your mood and even your health. It’s simply one of many emotional states which come and go. Of course, this isn’t to say that you should always just ignore this state. Sometimes it’s telling you something – for example, that you’re overestimating your strengths. Sometimes it’s possible to shake it off like it’s simply an obstacle, an internal limitation, hindering you from reaching your goals.
But at other times it’s best just to stop listening to the voice of doubt, and act. Doubting yourself is normal, and sometimes even helps quell overconfidence. But it shouldn’t stand in the path of all your undertakings.
What I mean to say is that being sure of yourself absolutely doesn’t mean never doubting yourself. Being self-confident means overcoming your doubts and fears!
In truth, I still often have doubts in myself, but do I give the impression of an unconfident person? If I stalled every time I was faced with doubt, you’d see barely one article on this site.
Tip 2 – Learn the triggers which cause your self-belief to desert you
Pay attention to the kinds of situations where your doubts torment you the most. If you find that there’s some kind of trend, there’s no need to worry about it too much.
For example, I’ve noticed that I start to feel huge doubt in myself, my words and my thoughts at bedtime, when I’m starting to drift off. But I’m used to this now, so when uncertainty visits me I greet it like an old friend: ‘Here they are as usual, my evening doubts’.
It wouldn’t be true to say that I completely ignore this voice, but if I do listen to it, I keep in mind that it’s an emotional state which is usual for this time of day, and if I’m having doubts about something I said, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s really anything I need to worry about.
In the morning on the other hand, I’m usually self-confident, sometimes too much so. My night time doubts balance out my morning confidence, so I know I don’t need to completely deprive the evening voice of attention, just not take it too seriously.
Learn to pay attention to the temporary, passing nature of doubt as it depends on your current state. Bear in mind the times you’re more likely to feel uncertain; if it happens persistently and you see a pattern, lower the ‘value’ of these doubts.
Also, use your ‘self-confident’ times to drive away your doubts – think about them when your courage and strength are high. This will help you in your decision making.
Tip 3 – Know your strengths
Sometimes if I’m tired or upset about something, one negative comment on my site can flat out kill my confidence in what I’m doing for a time. (Lately, though, this is happening less and less – my uncertainty that is, not the comments.)
When this happens, it doesn’t matter to me that a few minutes before I had no doubts about anything. Nor does it matter that reality has demonstrated to me more than once the validity of what I’m doing.
People tend to overrate the significance of the present moment and extrapolate their current state to their global life perspective. If they think that they’re useless at everything right now, they believe that it must always have been like this, no matter all their past successes.
At such times, simply try to look at reality, at your true abilities and successes, without succumbing to your present state: ‘In actual fact, I can do such and such, I know how to do this, I’ve already achieved that.’ For example, when I start to doubt my ideas, I think, ‘My site has helped lots of people – they’ve written and told me. People read it regularly and leave appreciative comments. People have given up smoking using my advice and learned how to cope with depression and panic attacks, etc.’
At these times I try to give myself praise and simply look at the facts in order to restore an adequate picture of reality. I recommend that you too stick to the facts and don’t attempt to argue with yourself. If your doubts are stemming from your current mood (fatigue, irritation), you’re not going to be able to get rid of them until this passes.
Your task will simply be to reassure yourself that these doubts are groundless and unrelated to reality (to deal with them in the same way as intrusive thoughts).
If you start to obsess about it, your mind, fettered by fatigue, is just going to continue doubting and lead you to further uncertainty. So simply tell yourself that the doubt is a lie. Rely on the truth, not on emotions. Even if this doesn’t help much, it’s OK – it happens. In this case it’s best to just forget about it – don’t think about your doubts; they’ll pass together with your bad mood.
Tip 4 – Don’t listen to people who tell you things aren’t going to work out
Sometimes when you’re having doubts, you share your plans with friends and acquaintances. You do this in expectation of their support for you new venture, but what you often get instead is a stop sign.
Some people just aren’t able to dispel your doubts for the simple reason that they’re more concerned for their own psychological comfort than your happiness.
Do you believe that you’re a naturally uncertain individual and that you’re surrounded only by people who are confident in their strengths? In reality, the unfortunate truth is that most people actually shy away from doing anything brave or independent, and they would rather believe that if something didn’t work out for them, then it won’t work out for you either.
They secretly wish for you to fail, and even anticipate it. This is because your success would be a living rebuke for them, a reminder of missed opportunities. Imagine that you’ve decided to start your own business and you consult someone who has for a large part of their life worked as a salaried employee. What advice would you expect from them? Most likely they’d tell you that it won’t work (because it didn’t for them), that it’s too big a risk and you’d be better off continuing to live a normal life and go to work every day.
So instead talk about your endeavours with people who have already been successful in the same field. It makes much more sense to follow their example than that of people for whom things didn’t work out.
Tip 5 – When you start to doubt yourself, think of the ‘ideal me’
Sometimes, our lack of self-confidence tries in a deceitful way to pass itself off as common sense. For example, when you’re afraid to go up to a girl or boy and ask them out.
You say to yourself that it’s not fear holding you back, but some external obstacle. You assume that the person will reject you, that they already have someone, that you’re not their type, and that therefore there’s no point wasting your time asking them out. But, in actual fact, you’re simply afraid and don’t want to admit to this fear, so are coming up with excuses. So how do you find out that it’s fear itself which is holding you back?
Form a picture in your mind of the ‘ideal me’ who isn’t afraid of anything and is always sure of themselves. It’s a flawless copy of your current self. Think about what they would do in your position. Do you really think they wouldn’t try to achieve their aim?
But even if your ‘ideal me’ would decide to ask someone out, it doesn’t mean that you have to. You’re not ideal. But when you acknowledge that in the ideal version you would need to shed your doubts and act, you’re acknowledging that all that’s stopping you is your fear and nothing else. The problem immediately loses the complexity you’ve attributed to it. With this understanding it becomes much easier for you to make decisions.
You can find out much more about the ‘ideal me’ in my article “How to turn thoughts into action”.
Tip 6 – Remember that it all depends on you alone
When you’re plagued by doubts and thinking, ‘Nothing ever works out for me’, ‘I’m no good at anything’, ‘I can’t do it’, etc, remember that it all depends on your will alone. You yourself determine what works out or doesn’t work out for you. If you want something and show plenty diligence, there’s no reason for it not to happen. And if it doesn’t, just try again.
You’re all free people and there’s no innate quality or characteristic hindering you from persevering and becoming the kind of person you want to be, getting all that you want from life. Your will is in control of many more things that you may think.
You need to stop seeing barriers where none exist. There’s no need to be afraid of difficulties; simply take it upon yourself to act.
Tip 7 – Stop being paranoid
The next few pieces of advice are to to with the problems of self-doubt in interpersonal communication.
I’ve already written about this in my article the value of acceptance and here I’ll repeat what I said there. Don’t think that everyone is always looking at you, noticing all your shortcomings and memorising your every word. People are wrapped up in their own problems. Most of the time they’re thinking of themselves, even when it looks like they’re listening to you.
So relax and calm down. There’s no reason to be afraid of interaction or public speaking. People pay much less attention to you than you think.
Tip 8 – Listen to other people
I give this advice in many of my articles. Here, the point I’m making is this: when you pay attention to someone else, your mind will become less concerned with the fear of what might happen and less tormented by doubts. You’ll stop incessantly thinking of yourself – about how you look and sound, about what you’re thinking.
You’ll watch other people, have a dialogue with them. You’ll be distracted from your fears and will see in other people a lot you hadn’t noticed before. You’ll realise that there are more similarities than differences between you, and therefore that there’s nothing to fear.
Tip 9 – Stop trying to be a perfectionist
You’re not perfect; no one is. Accept this. It’s not necessary to react in an oversensitive way to mistakes and failures which erode your self-confidence. You make mistakes, and that’s fine.
Treat your mistakes calmly. If you feel that you’ve done something wrong or said something incorrect, then simply draw conclusions from the situation – take it as a lesson. Try not to make the same mistake in future instead of worrying about how stupid you were.
Making mistakes is part of being human; it’s nothing to worry about.
Tip 10 – Don’t be afraid of other people
The people around you most likely have a host of their own shortcomings and weaknesses, even if they they look very self-confident. You don’t need to feel like a little fish surrounded by sharks. In actual fact, the people around you might feel as meek and unconfident as you, even if they’re trying to hide it.
You shouldn’t be afraid of people, especially if they can’t do you any harm. Don’t be timid in front of your boss or be shy of men, women or your colleagues. They’re just people like you.
Tip 11 – Don’t try to appear better than you are
Don’t fall over yourself to convince people that you’re the most intelligent, sophisticated, erudite and ‘proper’ person around. Such attempts as a rule speak of your uncertainty about your qualities. When you lack confidence in your own intellect, you try to act in ways that ensure others believe in it. Sometimes vanity and boasting can testify to inner doubts.
So stop bigging yourself up and trying to impress everyone. What’s most important is convincing yourself that you’re worth something. Be who you are when interacting with others.
Tip 12 – Don’t be too modest
A certain amount of modesty is definitely a virtue. There’s no need to try to appear better than you are, but nor should you try to appear somehow worse – everything is fine in moderation. Don’t be shy to talk about your qualities if someone asks (for example at an interview).
Not being afraid to talk about your strengths testifies to your confidence in these strengths. And when others see that you’re confident in yourself, they become confident in you. They think, ‘This person doesn’t seem to doubt themselves; they probably don’t have doubts about anything, so this means I can be confident them too.’
If others praise your qualities, don’t be embarrassed – accept their compliments as if you’ve earned them. Thank people for their kind words.
Tip 13 – Portray yourself as self-confident
Despite the fact that I’ve spent much of this article advising you to be yourself and not pretend anything, I would still recommend that you try to come across as self-confident in the kinds of situations where you don’t really feel it.
Firstly, appearing self-confident is beneficial simply for the reason that other people will themselves become confident in you. The fact is that people who are unsure of themselves tend to have less trust put in them.
Secondly, when you make out that you’re self-confident, you actually become more self-confident. Very often feelings of uncertainty and doubt aren’t related to your actual qualities; they’re just emotions which can be overcome. And when you stop allowing yourself to be led by them, you can actually start to take control. Your emotions influence your behavior. But the opposite is true also. Your behavior influences your emotions! It’s a scientific fact! So when you act like self-confident, you become self-confident.
Tip 14 – Be friendly
Smile more, be interested in others’ problems, give them encouragement. This will endear you to your companions, and when people feel this way about you, it makes it easier for you to stay self-confident.
Tip 15 – Be sincere
Don’t hide away in your shell; talk openly about your views and thoughts, as long as the situation allows it and it won’t upset other people.
When I lacked self-confidence, I always had things on my mind which I felt unable to let out. But this didn’t help me to increase my self-belief; in fact it achieved the complete opposite, only causing me to feel less sure of myself. It’s as a result of self-development that I’ve become very open. I feel that I’m always in full view of and clearly visible to the people close to me.
On the one hand, I’m sure of my ideas so I’ll talk about them without hesitation. On the other, I’m not afraid that I won’t be understood or will be criticised. It’s not a big deal to me to admit when I’m wrong or change my views if someone talks me round. I find it interesting to talk to people about things which are bothering me, to find out another point of view, to broaden my outlook.
When I talk about myself out loud, when I present my ideas to the universal court, I’m forced to stop being led by my doubts. It helps me to be more self-confident because I’m exposing myself to the possibility of receiving criticism and meeting with other opinions. These kinds of situations cause self-belief to flourish!
Don’t wait for someone to pour out their soul to you before you open up to them – make the first move. (It’s true that conditions must be suitable; don’t bare your soul unnecessarily. Starting a sincere conversation needs to be done with delicacy in order to eliminate any barriers.) If you’re straight and open with your companion, your companion will become straight and open with you. When someone is open to you, your self-belief grows!
Tip 16 – Don’t overrate the role of looks
Sure, appearance has some significance, but your charisma, mind and charm mean incomparably more!
Tip 17 – Don’t be timid!
Speak clearly. Look your companions in the eye, don’t make excessive hand gestures. Don’t tap your fingers, pick at your lips, clear your throat and harrumph. Keep a watch on yourself, your body language (But also don’t be drown in the thoughts like: “oh my hands are shaking, I don’t look so nice”. React to it calmly); if you work on your communication skills, sooner or later they’ll be highly polished.
Get over your shyness, put any thoughts which are hindering you from making important decisions out of your head. Eliminate your inner struggles and just act, transgressing your fear and uncertainty!
Tip 18 – Help others
If people value your help, it means they value your experience, knowledge and skills. They’ll respond to your help with gratitude and support. They’ll believe in you, which will help you to believe in yourself!
Tip 19 – Stop looking for problems within yourself
I’m always saying that there are many situations in which you have to take responsibility for yourself and not push it onto other people or external circumstances. But this needs to be properly understood.
What I mean is that you yourself can decide how your life is going to be, and not cast your fate to arbitrary factors which aren’t under your control. But I don’t mean to say that you need to look for problems solely within yourself.
If other people don’t understand you or support the themes you raise during conversation, it doesn’t always mean that it’s your fault. Sometimes it’s the other person who has the problem, not you.
There are people who won’t be able to understand you. There are people who scoff at everything because that’s just how they are. There are people who always criticise everyone because they are embittered at the world.
You won’t be able to find a common language with absolutely everyone; there’s no escaping this fact. So don’t rebuke yourself for something that isn’t your fault.
Tip 20 – Say to yourself, So what?
This is advice I’ve given in other articles too; let me do so again here.
You feel that you made a bad impression – so what? What difference does it make what other people think of you? It’s absolutely not worth worrying about if you’re just going to see them once or twice more in future.
You’re afraid a girl will say no if you ask her out – even if she does, so what? What’s the difference? Why be afraid of this? Where’s the sense in that?
You’re afraid of your boss – why? What can they do to you? They’re just a person like you. Nursery children might be scared of their teacher, but you’re not a child.
You’re terrified of interviews? Of asking for a pay rise? You’re afraid that others think badly of you? Why should you worry about what others think of you? Let them think what they want. You have your own plans and aims. No absurd fear should stand in your way.
If you get into the habit of asking yourself these kinds of questions whenever you’re feeling fear and doubt, you’ll soon realise that many situations don’t warrant worrying about. There’s no sense in being afraid of people who can’t actually do you any harm, and there’s absolutely no need to feel shy.
Other people’s thoughts about you will remain their thoughts and nothing more. What difference does it make what’s going on in their heads?
Tip 21 – Stand by your opinion
It’s good to have strong positions and firm views on certain things. Don’t rush to agree with everyone. However, a strong position doesn’t mean unwavering doggedness about your opinion. Nor does it mean that you should always aggressively defend your stance or engage in long and pointless arguments (although of course in some situations it is advisable to defend your opinion).
What it means is having a solid, reasonable, considered position, a set of personal principles which can’t be changed by every random opinion.
For example, I’m completely sure that I’m doing the right thing maintaining this site and filling it with articles. I’m sure that meditation is useful and that people are missing out on many benefits when they don’t engage in its practice. I’m sure that people bear responsibility for their own shortcomings. I’m sure that every individual is capable of change.
Because I have firm principles and views as the bases for my words and actions, I’m confident in these words and actions. This certainty helps me continue to do what I do. Sometimes it becomes overshadowed by clouds of doubt, but the sun’s always visible behind them – because the sun never disappears.
Form your life philosophy. Discover what you want out of life. Think about your principles, stand by them but avoid pig-headedness, blind enthusiasm and rejecting others’ opinions! Strike a balance between reasonable, healthy rigidity and timidity; be flexible but firm, draw on others’ views but don’t depend on them!
Form your principles, for example: ‘If you work hard, you can achieve anything’. Be conscious of how much you believe in this principle. Reason thus: ‘Lots of people’s experiences support this idea. Someone who really strives for something, never giving up, will achieve it. So it’s a principle I can be sure of. And it doesn’t matter what others think – they can say whatever they want!’ Hold on to this principle. Sometimes it’ll be clouded by doubts, but at such times you can return to your inner certainty, again and again finding confirmation of the truth of this idea in life and experience.
Learn to say no!
Don’t be afraid of refusing people’s requests if you don’t want to fulfil them. Don’t think that you’ll spoil your relationship with them or disappoint them. People who never refuse anyone anything aren’t always respected, but those who possess independence, self-sufficiency, character and the ability to stand by their opinions and say ‘no’ are.
Tip 22 – Learn from life
You don’t have to go on any special courses on how to increase your self-confidence. Why do that, why pay money, when reality presents such a multitude of opportunities to develop this quality?
Why practise in artificial situations when life gives you the possibility of polishing your skills in real ones? You need self-confidence to live your life, so learn from life!
Socialise more, get to know people, go to meetings and team building events. Put my recommendations into practice, keep watch over yourself so as to recognise your fear and uncertainty. Try to understand the things you’re not so sure of and why. What do you plan to do about this?
Go to interviews – these are excellent, free lessons in business communication and self-confidence. Additionally, a side effect of this could well be landing yourself a great job with better pay. Doesn’t it sound tempting to be paid for a lesson rather than paying for it?
Tip 23 – Work on self-development
Of course, it’s very hard to be confident in your qualities if these qualities are poorly developed. Self-confidence must be based things which are real, on your actual merits.
Certainly, your self-perception and emotional disposition are very important components of self-confidence. People should absolutely stop playing down their qualities and learn to not be led by their doubts, as I wrote earlier.
But unfortunately this alone isn’t enough. I don’t believe in using artificial means to increase people’s feelings of self-worth, telling them that they’re better than they actually are. Increasing self-belief must be accompanied by working on yourself, self-development, so that your feelings of certainty and confidence stem from within.
So develop your personal qualities – this blog is dedicated to helping you do just that. Read my articles and try to take the recommendations on board. Develop your willpower, improve your self-possession.
Read books – literary, scientific, instructional, etc.
Improve your professional qualities. Think about what you want to do for the rest of your life. Strive towards this aim.
Never stop trying to find out new things about the world; learn new skills. When you master new skills, your confidence in them increases – it’s difficult to doubt something you’ve dedicated so much time to and can therefore do better than others.
Think about what you’re good at.
If you’re always studying something, putting your skills into practice, seeing a return from your actions, then there becomes much less room for uncertainty!
Update: As I read in the book Mindset, people who think that all of their qualities are inherent and unchangeable are less sure of themselves than people who believe in the possibility of self-development and growth! Why is this? Because people with a so-called fixed mindset (the belief that personal qualities can’t be developed) believe that if they’re shy, lacking charisma or not clever enough, this is how they’ll be forever. Therefore they’re afraid of interaction, since it once again reminds them of their ‘incurable’ shortcomings.
However, people with a growth mindset (the belief that qualities can be developed), on the contrary, don’t neglect the possibility of improving their communication skills and self-confidence. For them the fact that they’re not clever or self-assured doesn’t mean they’ll always be like that. It might be hard for them to interact and believe in themselves at the moment, but everything can be developed. This is why failure doesn’t undermine these people’s self-belief. They’re not afraid of it and will see such experiences as motivation to develop themselves, to become better!
For them others’ criticism isn’t a judgement. It’s a source of information which they can use for their aim of self-development. Failures stop being failures, and instead become valuable lessons. Being ready for trials and failures, and a balanced level of stubbornness and intransigence help to form people’s feelings of self-belief! If you don’t strive towards developing your qualities and think of yourself as a worthless person who will never be any good at anything, you won’t achieve anything and will find it very hard to develop your self-confidence.
So to remind you again – almost all of your qualities can be developed! Every person can change! You suffer from a lack of self-confidence not because ‘that’s how you are’, but because you haven’t made an effort to change yet! (But I am not saying that you should be perfect and blame yourself for every failure and shortcoming. Everything has it’s own limitations. Find your own balance)
Tip 24 – Accept your weaknesses
I’ve already talked about the necessity of knowing your strengths. But in addition to this, you should also know your weaknesses. Why? So that you can treat them calmly and understand what you need to work on.
Instead of thinking, ‘I’m so awful, I can’t do anything’, you need to reason thus: ‘I can do this, this and this, but I’m not so good at that, that and that. I can get better at some things, some I don’t need to bother about, and others I really can’t do anything about. This is fine, because it’s impossible to be perfect.’
Make a list of what you’re good at and what you’re not. Think about the things you could improve. Don’t think of these weaknesses as a given, as things unchangeable, but as the front for future work.
Yes, at the moment there are things you can’t do, but in future your efforts may cause the situation to change. It’s all in your hands. This insight will give you extra confidence in your strengths, which can’t be a bad thing.
If you believe that almost any quality can be developed (which is completely the case) and strive to do so, then you’ll stop avoiding those life situations you used to be afraid of due to your lack of self-confidence. This is because, as I said earlier, many of these situations can be a way for you to train your personal qualities
Do you feel you’re bad at communication? Instead of avoiding socialising, socialise more! Only in this way can you improve your communication skills.
Are you afraid of public speaking because you think you’ll do a bad job? There’s only one way of remedying this, and I’m sure you can guess what it is.
Don’t avoid what you’re afraid of – work on overcoming your weaknesses, the characteristics of your personality that you’re not confident about. Learn new skills and use them in all the life situations you experience. Instead of folding in front of difficulties, surmount them, armed with your desire to develop. This will lead you to opening up many more life possibilities than just sitting around twiddling your thumbs ever would.
If you can’t do something or have doubts about one of your qualities, rather than lamenting, try to improve it! Experiment, make an effort. And if something turns out to be impossible, then there’s no point being sad about it! Why suffer for something you can’t change? Simply accept it!
Tip 25 – Don’t wait for confidence to come to you – just do it!
This is the final and most important tip. Don’t wait for the time when you no longer experience doubts and fears when you’re making a decision. You could wait fruitlessly for this to happen your whole life, never making a start on anything.
Doubts and fears won’t disappear. Remember I said that doubt goes hand in hand with any bold undertaking. And you can’t become self-confident if you don’t start to try stepping over your fears, acting in spite of them, not paying attention to your anxiety and uncertainty.
Your aim is not to get rid of fear, but to learn how to turn a blind eye to it! And the more often you do this, the less significant this fear becomes. So don’t wait around for it to become easier; act now, pushing yourself through uncertainty. Then life with all of its scrapes will steel your character so it becomes as hard as a diamond and as unstoppable as a typhoon!