How to Find Happiness Within Yourself And in Your Life – 14 Tips

I will tell you how to find happiness within yourself and in your life. The attempt to make people happy represents a quite ambitious task. But I will try to do it. I consider myself a happy person and I will try to teach you to be happy as well.

It is not easy to achieve happiness. The pursuit of happiness does not always bring success, because many people try to find it, where it is not present. As a result, they spend their lives searching an illusion of happiness, but they never find true harmony.

Why People Find No Happiness

Why is this happening? The pursuit of happiness, harmony and comfort forms the basis of human motivations.

Our brain works in a way that makes us seek to the good and positive state, while avoiding the bad and poor state.

In fact, we do not want recognition, money, women and durable relationships. We want positive feelings, which these things promise to bring. In other words, we do not want the things themselves; we want the feelings that arise due to the possession of these things.

A man wants to do well; he constantly strives to comfort and tries to escape from suffering.The majority of human existence aspects are permeated by this aspiration. Does this aspiration always find its goal, i.e. happiness? My experience suggests that it doesn’t, because we see so many unhappy people.

Imagine a little mouse in a giant maze, which scented some cheese in the distance. The smell source is far away. The maze has a lot of routes, but only one of them leads to the desired piece of food.The survival instinct makes the mouse search for food and run through the maze. But the majority of routes will bring it only to dead-locks and traps.

The same thing happens with a man. His pursuit of happiness makes him run away from the poor state towards the fools’ paradise, which looms somewhere in the distance. But the majority of routes will bring him to dead-locks and traps, therefore, chances are that he will never reach the desired state of harmony and comfort.

Being in pursuit of this illusive image, people spend a lot of money, fall in love and buy expensive things. They use drugs, change their sexual partners and fanatically practice some religion.Do they reach their happiness? Not always. Reality knows a lot of unhappy people with a high income level and with a lot of power. They have everything they want, but why many of them are unhappy?

People are unhappy regardless of the country they live in, the religion they practice, the number of love partners or cars they change.

All these things can become false routes in this immense life’s maze, and the man inside the maze will be like the mouse that scented some cheese in the distance. As long as he rushes headlong into these endless corridors, he thinks that he approaches to something desired and valued with every new day. However, once this run stops, the person understands that his way bumps into a dead-lock. In order to forget this fact and to aside from the consciousness of the dead-lock at the end, he starts again this mad pursuit of the illusion.

The true happiness is replaced by the pursuit of happiness! This is the bitter truth.

Do I want to say that happiness cannot be achieved at all? No, it can be achieved, but you have to know where it should be looked for.Do I think that happiness does not depend on money, things, social status, temperament or living conditions? No, I do not want to say so. Happiness depends on these things, but not as much as many people use to believe.

Career will not make you happy, if you are unhappy deeply inside. Money does not give you the joy of life, if you are plagued by internal fears and contradictions. Sex and drugs provide only temporary pleasure, but they do not eliminate the cause of your unhappiness.

The main idea of this article is that you are the main source of your happiness. Anyone can achieve this source. Before I will tell you about how to find happiness, let me mention 5 myths about happiness. These myths prevent people from achieving happiness. They confuse them and point out the wrong direction for finding comfort and satisfaction.

Further, I want to identify and disprove these myths. I structure the further presentation of the material by listing these myths. Along the way, I will answer such questions as: What is happiness? How it differs from pleasure? Why hedonism leads to suffering? Why happiness attracts money?

5 Myths About Happiness

Myth 1 – Happiness Depends On External Things (Money, Houses, Cars, Love Partners, Success, and Quality Of Life)

This is a wrong belief. I am not surprise by the fact that the majority of people profess this belief.

As I said earlier – everyone instinctively strain after happiness or pleasure. But not everyone knows where to find it; therefore, he is guided by those recipes for happiness searching, which are available to him.

The Western civilization is imbued with the cult of wealth, success, and consumption. Therefore, these values become the benchmarks of modern man in his aspiration of escaping from dissatisfaction.
I cannot say that all people identify happiness with money and success. At the beginning of the article, I said that people are looking for happiness, where it is not present. But, in fact, they do not want happiness; they want something else, something that replaces the happiness.

Many people do not really know what the status of this state is, and associate it with pleasure and temporary satisfaction.

The modern man’s attitude to happiness can be expressed in the following formulation: “Happiness? I do not quite understand what it is. Perhaps, it’s an abstract concept, an individual utopia analogue. Something unattainable and incomprehensible. The feeling of pleasure associated with money, sex, alcohol, and love intrigues is much clearer and closer to me. Maybe, this is the very happiness? Or maybe not. But, since I have no other idea of how to achieve satisfaction and comfort (and how to avoid dissatisfaction), I will be guided by the things available to me.”

In other words, the concept of happiness is not something specific to many people. Everyone understands it as something special for himself and chases his phantoms, which promise to reveal to him the source of continuous pleasure. But often such pursuit leads to nothing, but dissatisfaction.

Happy people have no doubt that they are happy. I have no doubt as well.

First, I want to say that happiness can be achieved. Namely happiness as a permanent state, not happiness as a chain of temporary pleasures.

Secondly, it largely depends on you, not on external conditions.

Happiness is an internal and subjective state. It is not determined by the country you live in or how much money you have.

I think that this statement doesn’t contradict the ordinary experience. Each of us knows that people may live in the same conditions, while being happy in different ways.

Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychology professor, says in her book – The How of Happiness – that according to research, happiness depends on you 4 times stronger, than on external factors!

In turn, my own experience supports this statement. Over the last few years, the conditions in which I live have certainly changed, but not considerably. However, I have changed from an unhappy and depressed person, into a happy personality. All these occurred not because of the external changes, but thanks to refining myself, personal metamorphoses, i.e. internal changes.

My experience persuades me of the truth of this article’s main idea better, than any scientific calculations. After all, my perception of life, my positions, my attitude to many things and my emotional state have changed. All these helped me find my happiness.

Myth 2 – Happiness = Pleasure

Many people think that life happiness is formed by pleasure summation. For example, in the morning you drank some hot coffee with pleasure, at work your boss spoke highly of you, in the evening you drank some wine and had sex.

Do you think that all these little treats in their amount make the desired and great life happiness? Not exactly.

Happiness is not a pleasure. How does it differ from it?

  1. Happiness depends on external stimuli not as strong as a temporary pleasure does. What do you need to get pleasure? To buy something, to make money or to get acquainted with someone. This means that you achieve pleasure indirectly through some things. And happiness depends on these things not very much, because it an internal state. (That is why people think that happiness can be obtained only with the help of money, affairs, power or things. They confuse it with pleasure.)
    Consequently, the thirst of pleasure makes you dependent on external things, whereas there is no happiness.
  2. Happiness is not affected by inflation, as opposed to pleasure. How should you understand it? Quite simple. For example, earlier someone was pleased to drink a glass of cheap wine in a bar on the city suburb, but now, a bottle of 50-year-old wine that is drunk in a luxurious restaurant brings less pleasure.
    People get used to the pleasure and glut themselves with it. As a result, there no is no other pleasure in their life and they simply need more and more resources to maintain this escaping pleasure.
    But, since happiness depends only on the internal state, it is not subject to depreciation. There is no need to maintain it constantly by external stimuli. You will be almost equally happy in different life conditions.
  3. Happiness is evident in perspective. Your momentary state may be different. Sometimes you have a bad mood, sometimes a good one. But it has nothing to do with happiness. After all, happiness is not a temporary state and not a keen pleasure, which is experienced by every cell of the body. This is something that raises above all your mood fluctuations and is not subject to them. In other words, it is not quite correct to ask yourself: “Am I happy now?”, “Was I happier yesterday, than today?” After all, happiness is not directly related to the experienced moment.

    But if you try to increase the perspective and think: “Am I happy at all? During my whole life or during the last few years?” Then you will be able to understand, whether you are happy or not. Even if yesterday you were sad, it does not mean that you are unhappy at all. According to this point of view, we can say that happiness is some kind of “metastate”, which manifests itself in long term and is permanent, as opposed to temporary pleasures.

    Happiness is like a lighthouse, which stands on the shore, while you are abroad a ship on the open sea, away from the shore. Sometimes the waves block the lighthouse, but you can still see it by climbing the mast. This lighthouse will be always there, no matter what severe gale you may run into.

  4. Happiness does not enslave you. If you have reached it, then it will not slip away from you, like pleasure does. You already have it and you do not need much for this.
    Pleasure is not the same as happiness. Moreover, for the sake of happiness quite often you have to sacrifice this pleasure. The pleasure way (hedonism) is, in fact, not a permanent bliss, as many probably think. This is a suffering and dissatisfaction way!

Thу last statement seems paradoxical. Let me explain it. If you try to get as much pleasure as possible, then sooner or later you will come to satiation, and you will want more sex, money, drugs or power in order to maintain the same pleasure level. (This is the pleasure inflation.)

This tendency and expanding hunger cannot be sustained eternally, because your resources are limited.

Your health is not eternal and you will be unable to get pleasure from alcohol and fatty food continually. Sooner or later it will cease to bring anything but displeasure and diseases. Your money is not endless as well, and you will fail to meet your every new whim.

As a result, the run for pleasure will turn into eternal frustration and dissatisfaction. You will never be able to satisfy your every desire at its whistle. And if you become a slave of your pleasure, then your desires will become whimsical and uncontrollable, like little spoiled children that will pester you during your whole life!

Let it sounds oddly, but I want to tell you that, in order to be happy, sometimes you have to be able to deny the pleasure!

Strong passions and uncontrolled desires lead to suffering. To avoid this suffering that may cause addiction and destructive impulses, you need to be able to deny the pleasure that promise you these things! Happiness is based on freedom! Freedom from strong desires and passions!

A lack of life happiness makes people seek to pleasure constantly, because therein they see the only way to feel alive.

But happy people need it not so much. They already have all they need…

Myth 3 – I’m Unhappy Because … I’ll Be Happy When…

Many people think this way: “I am unhappy because I live in a bad country, or I have a bad job, or I do not have such a car as my neighbor has, or I did not realize my potential, or I do not have a love partner. But when I move to another country, change my job, buy a car as my neighbor has, find my vital vocation and love, then I will find my happiness!”

As I said, I do not consider that personal happiness does not depend on these things. The fact is that you cannot simply restrict it only to them. If you are deeply unhappy, then the possession of these things will not bring you the desired feelings.

Why do you still continue to believe in some sort of happiness somewhere in the abstract future?

Because your mind tries to get you out of the dissatisfaction state. You suffer, but you do not know why. And your brain seeks to find some causes of your unhappiness, and, following the well-established habit, finds them in the outside world. You simply want to hope that this dissatisfaction will pass, when you reach something. You want to think that you know what has caused your dissatisfaction.

A person wraps himself in an illusive and false hope, simply to hope for something. Will this hope come true? Not always.

Many of us eagerly pursue some goals, being in the pursuit of happiness. Does these goals’ achievement give you something, except temporary satisfaction? No! When we reach the goal, after a while we begin to feel dissatisfied again and we want something more.

The man’s mind is geared to get used to the good. Many people are unable to content themselves with what they have, but they experience dissatisfaction concerning the things they do not have. The euphoria, caused by the purchase of a car like your neighbor has, will be replaced by dissatisfaction because of the lack of a car like your boss has.

In addition, misfortune, as an internal state, projects itself on the outside world in person’s mind. He thinks that everything is bad, though namely his perception colors the world in gray. The surrounding things are not bad. Namely his susceptibility to depression and dissatisfaction perception makes them so.

In view of the aforesaid, his aspiration to find harmony by means of changing the scene and buying new things does not succeed. After all, no matter where he goes, whatever he buys – his perception, which notices only the bad, will always be with him and will not go anywhere. He will not find satisfaction, and will always think about the things he does not have, rather than about those he has.

When moving to another country in search of utopia, one may realize that everything in that country is not as good as he imagined at first. His negative attitude again finds many shortcomings of the new environment. You cannot escape from your inner unhappiness by changing the residence.

New activity and new job will eventually bore a man, as well as all his former activities, because deeply inside he is unhappy.

Love will bring euphoria and feeling of happiness. Unfortunately, these feelings do not last forever. Once they pass, the disappointed personality will find itself in the same dissatisfaction state and will start a new pursuit.

By these arguments I do not want to cause pessimism, saying that nothing is eternal and no things will bring you constant joy. It is not so. Happiness can be achieved, but you cannot see it only in these things, otherwise you will be disappointed. I want to warn you against false paths and rid of illusions.

You have to learn to be happy right here and right now, without drawing yourself a utopia in the future. And you have to find this happiness inside you.

Myth 4 – Rich People Are Happier Than People Of Moderate Means

It is not so. According to researches, there are no special distinctions in the value judgment degree of the happiness level between the rich people and people of moderate means. Happiness does not increase with income (on the contrary, the income increases with happiness – we’ll talk about this later in this section).

However, according to the same researches, namely the necessary condition for happiness is that income which provides you a life above the poverty line and gives you an opportunity to make ends meet. But happiness will not increase with the increase of your earning above this level!

Why? As I wrote earlier, a person gets used to the good! He even gets used to have a yacht and own a private island! I spoke about this in the preceding section. But, if a person is unhappy and notices only the bad, then these things will bring him no joy!

Therefore, you should not think that rich people have no problems and that you cannot be a happy man without wealth.

However, there is an inverse relationship. Happiness attracts money!

Happy people are self-confident and able to cope with stress and solve problems. They achieve their goals better, than whiners-losers. Consequently, they are more successful in life. New achievements, acquaintances and acquisitions are able to make some contribution to the sum of your zest for life (although they are unable to bring you happiness, if you have not achieved it inside you).

Happy people attract more additional happiness, than the unhappy ones!

There is nothing wrong with beautiful things, material security and comfort living conditions, but, as I wrote above, these things can be easily achieve by people, who are already happy, because of their personality’s properties.

Myth 5 – Smart People Are Mostly Unhappy

This belief is related to the fact that intellectually gifted and talented people have supposedly more complicated psyche, than fools. They clearly see all the world imperfections, therefore, suffer more.

Some people even perceive their own tendency to suffering almost as a virtue, as evidence of a superior intelligence and sophisticated psyche organization.

But the fact is that being happy is much more difficult, than being unhappy. The first one requires effort, refining yourself and developed willpower, while the second one – requires nothing.

Despondency does not make you cool. It does not speak about the developed intelligence; it only shows that you have not refined yourself, and therefore, the majority of your qualities were not developed.

Perhaps, the intelligence development somehow affects the level of your happiness, but misfortune is not the direct result of intelligence development. It is rather a consequence of your shortcomings.

Finding Happiness

This is the practical part of the article. Here I will tell you about the methods, which will lead you to achievement of permanent inner happiness.

Tip 1 – Meditate

Do you know about the world’s happiest man?

The brain studies of people, who regularly meditate, have revealed the direct relation between the practice and the state of peace, concentration and happiness.

Meditation has helped me very much to get rid of depression and become happy.

Meditation value consists in the fact that it is a very practical and applied thing. You may know any number of theories about positive thinking and read dozens of books on self-development. But without practice you will implement any theoretically principles much more difficult.

It is easy to say: “Be content with what you have”, and “Pay attention to the positive sides of your life.” But it is difficult to implement. Do these tips help you, when you are angry, in despair and nothing makes you happy? Everyone knows that it is not so easy to become an optimistic person and to notice only the positive sides.

It is as difficult as standing on your head, having simply read an article about how to do it.

It is easy to say: “During the headstand, keep your back straight and hold your look at one point, not to lose your balance.” Will these tips help you, if you’ve never stood on your head? No!

Because you need some practice and trained muscles in order to do this.

You could say that meditation is training of your “happy muscles.” While meditating, you develop strength, which helps you be happy, do not pay attention to the negative things around you and get rid of negative emotions. That is why I have placed meditation before other methods that can help you achieve happiness.

While meditating, you bring your mind into a state of happiness and you gain more control over yourself. When being in this state, it’s easier to keep your optimism and vacant mood. Everyone knows that during depression a person colors the world in gray tones: the surrounding people seem angry and sad, and the reality around loses its color.

Meditation has the opposite effect; it variegates the world, so that you see more good around you, and the usual things bring you more joy.

It is possible to say that while meditating, you open a free, independent of external circumstances and a constant source of happiness!

Of course, it’s not all that simple. Without refining yourself and conscious efforts, meditation will not make you happy! Do not wait for a miracle! This is an important thing and I want you to pay attention to it.

The practice acts not only as an harmless antidepressant, it also helps you understand yourself, be aware of the true reasons for your dissatisfaction, deal with fears, solve internal problems, develop awareness and get rid of unwanted emotions.

It gives you the ability to manage your psyche and work with it. But without this work, it will bring no good results.

Through meditation, people get rid of bad habits and thirst of momentary pleasure. This happens not only because the practice contributes to willpower development and people are able to confront their weaknesses easier.

Meditation gives the feeling of happiness and harmony. And, as I said in the section about pleasure, happy people do not need so much the momentary pleasure, which can be caused by drugs, sex, food, thrills, shopping, etc. Happy people are self-sufficient and independent of their happiness. Because all they need to enjoy the life is already inside them.

You may ask: If everything is so simple, why don’t all people meditate and why there are so many unhappy individuals and people with harmful addiction around us?

Everything is really not that difficult. We do not see many meditating people, for the same reason that not every one of us goes in for sports. Everyone knows how beneficial sport is. But not many people, who suffer from overweight and have health problems, use this method to be more healthy and attractive.

Why is this happening? After all, the benefit of sports is obvious. Most likely, due to laziness, lack of motivation or inability to achieve long-term goals.

Meditation, as well as sports, gives no immediate effect. You need to practice it regularly in order to achieve any results. Not everyone has patience and faith in this method.
Not all people go in for sports, let alone meditation, because this practice status in the mass culture is connected with religion and esoteric east doctrines.

Not all people take meditation seriously, despite the fact that science has been long studying the practice impact on the brain and has revealed a lot of positive effects of meditation.

Meditation is not necessarily a part of religion and it is not magic. It is an applied exercise that teaches you to manage your attention, control emotions and enjoy life.

Learn how to meditate properly.

Tip 2 – Have No Regrets

It’s no use crying over spilt milk. Accept the consequences of your actions. You cannot change the past. But you can change the present and the future! Instead of grieving at the past, improve your present life and give of your strength for the future.

Tip 3 – Take Care Of People

I am not a religious man, but I greatly respect the world religions. In my opinion, the major religions are united not by the idea of the Almighty God (for example, in Buddhism, there is no such idea at all) and not by some belief in supernatural forces, but, above all, by the values of love for your neighbors, compassion, altruism, forgiveness and freedom from passions.

In my opinion, the essence of religion is based, first of all, on these things, not on attending temples, committing ceremonies and rituals, being present at sermons, etc.

I believe that these values are widely applied in our earthly life! They are not only the ways to achieve some kind of post-mortem rescue! No! Compassion, kindness, care of people – is the recipe for earthly happiness!

Did you pay attention to the fact that misfortune, suffering and depression are, by their nature, extremely self-centered states? The unhappy person is obsessed only on his feelings and his grief. He does not care about other people’s problems. He thinks that his personal problems are big and significant!

Altruism and compassion are directed at other people. These qualities mean the ability to get distracted from your problems, your thoughts, your desires, and to understand that all these are not the most important things in your life and they do not create the whole center of existence! Consequently, care of your neighbors means freedom from passions and strong desires! And freedom means happiness.

The value of love for people (Update: not only for people, precisely, but for all living: animals, plants, nature, our planet) is both the cause and the consequence of happiness. Happy people do not close on themselves and do not think all the day about their problems; they bring happiness into the world and try to help other people. And in these actions they find new happiness!

Tip 4 – Forgive And Do Not Criticize

Learn to forgive other people. This will teach you compassion and understanding. Offense, hatred and rage give birth to suffering and frustration. Love, kindness and forgiveness give birth to happiness.

Condemn and criticize people less. Stop gossiping and spinning intrigues. This will teach you to stop focusing on other people’ shortcomings and find their positive sides. It will also allow you to pay attention to your own imperfection and your problems’ reasons.

Tip 5 – Do Not Complain About Life

Do not complain about circumstances, stop thinking and talking about how bad everything around you is. Can you change something with these thoughts? No. They only spoil your mood and make your life miserable.

I don’t urge you to wear rose-colored glasses and notice only the good things. I want you to stop focusing only on the bad things.

Of course, there are grief and injustice in life. It is a fact of life that you should accept. The world is what it is. There is no sense in whining and rejection.

Courageously accept your fate! This does not mean that you should accept it without resignation. Improve your life, change the world for the better, and accept the order of things in your life, which you cannot change!

This will save you from needless suffering and frustration over the fact that the real life does not always meet your expectations.

Tip 6 – Take Responsibility

Stop blaming circumstances and people around for the fact that your life has developed not the way you wanted. You are responsible for it, not your parents, not your friends and not your government. Because you are free to change your life, and you have the biggest impact on it!

The personal responsibility is not the result of guilt, but the consequence of freedom! You make your own life and, therefore, you are responsible for it. Depriving yourself of responsibility means depriving yourself of freedom to have impact on yourself and on the world. And depriving yourself of freedom means depriving yourself of happiness!

Tip 7 – Learn To Manage Your Emotions

Freedom from destructive passions, such as envy, pride, laziness, boredom, irritation and rage will make you a happy person! I don’t intend to dwell on here, because I devoted an entire article to the issue – “How To Control Negative Emotions.”

Tip 8 – Get Rid Of Strong Attachments

Buddhism teaches that in order to reach enlightenment you should get rid of all your emotional attachments. However, this method is unlikely to fit each individual. I am attached to my friends, to my wife, to my work and to many other things, and I get pleasure from these affections. I do not want to deprive myself of these emotions.

We are modern people and no one forces us to retire to a temple and live there locked up, giving up all the usual pleasures. But this Buddhist precept contains a certain wisdom, which can be used by a modern person as well.

No need to get rid of all attachments. You should simply have no strong affections, which fully create the basis of your existence.

Remember, I said that you should not think: “I will be happy when…” It’s not just the fact that you will not find happiness in the future, unless you find it inside you. Even if some activity will please you so much that you will forget about your misfortune, do not let it limit all your thoughts and positive emotions.

Because you will be left with nothing, if something goes wrong with this activity. Because you will have nothing, but this activity, and because it creates the only basis of your happiness. No need to make your harmony dependent on something one!

I really want to keep developing this website. I put high hopes on it. But it is not my only joy! If suddenly I will be unable to continue this work for some reason, certainly I will be hard hit by this.

But it will not be the end of my life! I have many other pleasures in addition to the website!

A smart investor allocates his risk by investing his money in a number of different projects, while calculatingly considering the fact that if one of them fails, the rest will yield dividends. Quite the same, you should not attach only to one thing: to love for husband/wife or children, to your business, etc.

And if you think: “I’ll be happy when I’ll find my love” – then you run the risk of becoming dependent on this love, because, except it, you will have no other source of joy! Dependence is never compatible with healthy relationships.

Diversify your affections!

Tip 9 – Find Your Calling

I’m not saying that you should definitely find your dream job. Calling is not necessarily identical to profession!

Maybe you like to dig in your garden on your plot of land and not to go to work! Why not consider it a calling? Therefore, you should choose your way of earnings in accordance with this calling, instead of turning this way into calling.

I will not dwell on this topic now, because I have an article on the website How To Find Your Calling.

But remember that you should not be attached only to your calling, no matter what it consists of – working as a lawyer or helping other people! I have already mentioned this in the previous section and I simply want to remind you about this.

Tip 10 – Smile!

This recipe for happiness is indicated in almost all materials devoted to the main issue of this article.

And I will not depart from this tradition. Of course, smile more. Psychologists have identified an inverse relationship between your facial expressions and your emotions. This means not only that, when you are happy, you smile. It also means that when you smile, you become joyful!

Tip 11 – Content Yourself With What You Have

I know that in Catholic families before meals, people utter a prayer thanking God for their food, which is on the table.

Irrespectively the fact whether this gratitude reaches some higher being or not, I think that this tradition has a practical sense.

We are accustomed to the benefits that civilization gives us: continuous access to a variety of foods, relative life safety (in comparison with wild conditions), health care, relative independence of nature, etc.

We already take these things for granted, even though some part of the world’s population misses them. Many people live in poverty; they are suffering from drought, hunger and diseases. They would be very happy to have what we have. But we, in turn, have been long used to it and forgot to enjoy it.

The tradition of thanking for the food on the table reminds us that food is not givenness, once we thank someone for it. You have it today, but you can miss it tomorrow! Food is the foundation of our lives, without which we cannot exist.

I’m not saying that you should pray and thank someone for it. Just do not forget that if you have food and a roof over your head, and you do not have to gasp for life every day, then you have all the benefits in order to be happy.

Not every person on the Earth has these benefits. You must learn to rejoice over having them, because you do not die of hunger somewhere in a miserable hut. Learn to appreciate what you have.

Tip 12 – Benefit From Any Experience

Find the good sides in every life experience, even in the most unpleasant one.

Were you fired? This is your chance to find what suits you best.

Did you have a spat with your wife? This gives you the opportunity to identify the shortcomings of your relations and improve them.

Did something excite you to anger? Life teaches you a self-control lesson. Use it as an opportunity to learn how to control your anger.

Virtually every experience has its advantages. “What does not kill us makes us stronger.” If you notice only the negative side of the experience, then you will miss many opportunities to become a better and stronger person.

Tip 13 – Maintain Your Health

Good health and sport activity will increase the content of endorphins in your brain. Endorphins cause the state of satisfaction and happiness.

A physically healthy person is less prone to psychological illness, despondency and depression, than people who have bad habits and do not care about their health.

Alcohol and smoking cause only temporary pleasure. But in the perspective, they violate the chemical balance in your brain and badly influence on its natural ability to maintain the happy state.

The more you use alcohol and other drugs, the more you get used to them and the more difficult you enjoy your life, while being in a sober state. Over time, the drugs themselves bring less and less joy, because of the habit. As a result, you do not become happier, but quite the contrary.

I meant this, when I said that sometimes happiness requires you to deny yourself some pleasure.

Quit smoking and drinking. Follow the sleep schedule and eating. Eat healthy food. Go in for sports. Meditate.

Tip 14 – Communicate!

Healthy and full communication gives you joy. When you communicate, aim not only at telling something about yourself and about your problems. Learn to listen to your interlocutors and understand other people. What do they feel? What are they worried about? Can you help them somehow?

This will allow you to shift the focus of your attention from your problems to other people’s problems. You will understand that many of your worries and fears are trifling in comparison with other people’s problems.

Listen to people, learn from them and charge with their positive mood, but do not let their negativity get into you. Get acquainted with new people. Be honest and aim at deeper communication, not at some superficial exchange of remarks.

Conclusion – The Main Article on My Blog

This article is one of the main articles on this blog. Why? Because the pursuit of happiness – is the main task of all recommendations and methods shown on this website. This article outlines the key, in my opinion, points of this task.

But all the rest of my articles are also directly related to this issue: achievement of individual and general happiness. Every article approaches this issue from different perspectives.
Read my blog, implement my pieces of advice and be happy!


  • I want to be happy in my life. But my husband find problem in each and everything i do… I dont have peace of mind only… I want to come out of problem and find myself being happy without thinking too much about my husband’s restrictions. He restricts me from each and everything i does. Please help

  • Hello Pavithra L

    The solution to your problem depends on context of your relationship. What does he forbid you to do? If he forbids you to date other men it is not so bad. If he forbids you to walk in the street or to listen to your favorite music it is not good.

    You should have conversation with your husband. Do not judge him, but tell him what concerns you, tell him about your feelings and offer him to find solution TOGETHER. Tell him, that you didn’t come to criticize his views on ruling the family, but to help him to better understand you and to help you with your problem.

    It could be really hard if you live in Muslim family under very strict traditions, but better to try. No criticizing, no judging, no quarreling, but clear statement of problem and showing your wish to come to solution together. That is the main idea, that doesn’t depend much on culture you belong to.

  • Hello Author,

    The above blog post is indeed very enlightening. It is a reflection or vision of a “third party” so to speak.

    Many of us can be blinded by problems, depression and happy facade’s. Reading the above only opens our thoughts as to “thinking out of the box”

    First, we must find happiness and understanding within ourselves before we engage in advising others in their hardships and short comings.

    Many, inclusive of myself, find it hard to come to realization of our feelings though it is that we first have to admit that we have a problem in order to make the change.

    In conclusion, this above article opens our thoughts so that we can think and live in a much happier lifestyle. We have to bring ourselves to safety in terms of the true definition of happiness.

  • I absolutely loved this article! I’ve read many but your words are written so purely in a way that it inspires me to make a change within myself for the good.
    From the bottom of my heart I want to thank you for writing such an amazing article because at this point in my life this is exactly what I needed.

  • Amazing article and beautiful writing! You have really inspired me! Keep up the amazing work!

  • about us as people.Being curnertly out of work and looking for a job has brought home the subject for me as I created a account and was told I had to include a photo of myself. I worry about being prejudged as a result and keep thinking that weight discrimination is not recognized for what it is.We know that weight loss is not easy, it would not be such Big Business if it was. And we know that health issues, emotional issues and genetics can all play a role. Finances also contribute as eating healthy can be very expensive and is getting more so with the recession and drought. The time was being fat was prestigious, sexy and enviable because it showed that you were wealthy enough to over indulge.Keep in mind that losing the weight may not make you happy as many have found out. Concentrate on being happy and doing those things that make you happy and feel good about yourself. Eating is not making you happy but it does cause the brain to release hormones to make you feel full and satisfied. Don’t settle for satisfaction and unhappiness. If we have time to eat then we have time to do something we enjoy. Try to work on improving your self image, nurture the intangibles! What are those things you like about yourself? If it’s a short list then maybe your weight is not the problem. What can you do to improve or highlight the qualities you like?We all know over weight people who are self confident, happy and productive. I had a teacher who was BIG, very tan and a little flamboyant but she dictated her self image and projected it on the world. Everyone loved her and knew she was beautiful, confident, smart, fun and happy.Tell the world who you are and share the things you love about yourself. Don’t let others tell you what or how you should be.Best Wishes!LJC

  • What an amazing article! Thank you so much for taking the time to write this and share with the world!

  • again a profound, well researched, quiet exhaustive and a well written article! happiness is a state of mind, one should find happiness within!

    thanks for such beautifull write up!

  • Well if you are feeling sad and don’t know the reason why, I don’t think that any kind of article or video can help you.
    You have to find out the real reason why you feel the way you do because sadness and bad mood are ways that our subconscious tells us that something is wrong and we need to take action.
    Until you take that action, you might not get the peace of mind and happiness that you seek and desire.

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